Let’s talk: miscarriage

Sometimes, although highly important, reading the percentages of miscarriage rates worldwide doesn’t help your heart settle.

Seeing that second line on a pregnancy test. The excitement and instant thoughts of the future with your baby are hard to stay away from.

For some, the next feeling that creeps up on them is the possibility of miscarriage, especially during early pregnancy.

We’re told to try not to worry. Just focus on yourself and eating well. And for many the weeks add up untill they get through the first trimester and the liklihood of a miscarriage drops significantly.

For others cramps and blood are the first signs that something isn’t right.

If the blood and cramps are consistent and a trip to the A&E confirms it, the beginning of a miscarriage is under way.

It’s hard on the heart and soul. It’s difficult. Even if the pregnancy wasn’t planned, the glimmer of something new being forcibly taken away and there’s nothing you can do about it is heart wrenching. Whether you knew you were pregnant or not. The heart hurts.

What now.

Well if you had told family and friends then telling them and finding the emotional support you need helps. Having others around you who want to support you during this difficult time eases any loneliness you may feel.

If, however you hadn’t told anyone then sometimes an online support group, talking with other women who are going through the same thing as you can help your healing process.

It doesn’t make a difference how early your miscarriage is. Loss is loss and grieving is grieving.

Take care of yourself. Your body is going through alot. Feed yourself, drink plenty and most importantly rest. Take time and rest your body and allow it to heal. Taking this time to rest your body will also rest your mind and soul.

It’s takes days or sometimes weeks for everything that needs to leave your body leaves. Clots, brown and/or red blood with cramps or sometimes without.

Loss of pregnancy symptoms can take a little while and just not feeling pregnant is also a big sign.

Having a miscarriage does not mean you can not have a child in the future. It does not mean that you have done something to cause the miscarriage. It’s not and will never be your fault.

Accepting that the miscarriage didn’t happen because of something you did will allow you to begin your healing.

Healing is a process. It takes time and every woman is different.

For me taking time out from my day to day and sleeping helped. It took me a while to feel like myself before I got pregnant. Even now I’ll have small bouts of sadness. And that’s absolutely fine.

Miscarriage is not a stigma. It should be something we speak about openly especially as 1 in 4 pregnancys end in miscarriage.

That being said. It’s all easier said then done. But for now healing well and not placing blame is the priority.

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